瞬逝的生命

为了缓解村官生活的苦闷,我养小动物了,一种我一直即有点害怕又非常喜爱的动物——狗。因为怕恶狗,所以我选择了养小狗,没有危险,又可爱有人性。来这短短4月,我先后就养了3条小狗,可现在,一条也不在我身边了。

先是坨坨,一条被主人遗弃的小白狗,很活泼,很可爱、也特别好吃。被原主人遗弃后被徐姨收养了,我见真的挺好玩,就要来养了。不知是因为是徐姨先养的缘故,还是因为坨坨不怎么看家的缘故,书记非常不愿意让我养坨坨,说是村委院里养条狗影响不好,又脏。只好作罢,但是因为经常给坨坨吃火腿或肉,坨坨现在见到我还是特别亲热、兴奋,即时以前狠狠地揍过它,但它不记仇,见我还是摇头晃脑的,尾巴摇的可欢了,还经常后退站立作揖,着实的可爱。

接着,俊田叔家的小母狗不知道在哪里厮混,产下了三只小黑狗。平日站在上台子,看着他家的这些小狗就觉得好玩,本想抱养一只,因为当时正赶上事情多,也没好意思开口。后来偶然间,听俊田媳妇说不想养那么多狗,要把小狗都给撇了,我赶紧申请领养了。可惜还是晚了一步,俊田叔已经撇了两只了,幸好还留下了黑黑,顺利领养。因为黑黑已经三个月大了,虽然在我看来还是挺小的,但是已经有点懂事了,对我这个新主人老是近而远之的。那么巴掌点大的小狗,我还是特别喜欢,都让我养成了和小狗说话、和小狗宣泄情绪的习惯。刚来我这时,黑黑老喜欢找我的鞋子钻,把头埋在我的鞋里睡觉,特别的好玩。开始的时候没有给它做窝,就让它在我的房里玩,它就专找犄角旮旯的便便和尿水。为了不影响环境,就给它找了个大纸箱子里面垫上我不穿的衣裤,算是给它安了个窝。书记对黑黑好像不怎么排斥还有点喜欢,没事还逗逗它,可惜黑黑似乎不买书记的帐,别说书记了,连我有时都被它吠。而且黑黑不像坨坨,只要给吃得就什么都好说,你要是欺负了它,它可是很记仇的,当然它也很亲对它好的人,一种不张扬的亲。要知道,有一段时间我离开很长时间,把它寄存在徐姨家,它对比它大四五倍的坨坨一点都不惧,有时还主动去挑惹坨坨。等我回去后,它还是很乖的跟我回去了。黑黑,应该是我最喜欢的一只小狗,可是它也让我最后悔。因为在一次我开门时,它躲在我脚后和我玩迷藏,恰碰我在台阶上没站稳,一个向后的踉跄,一只脚扎实的踩在了它的肚子上,当时,它就惨叫一声,跑到旁边去大口喘气了。我也被吓了一跳,赶紧叫来有养狗经验和身为村卫生院大夫的徐姨,让她帮我看看,甚至有送镇兽医站的冲动,但徐姨说没用,只好作罢。接下来的几天我委托她帮我照料黑黑,因为我要回城去接来探望我的爸妈。当我和爸妈回到大队时,当我打开院门时,我被惊呆了。黑黑像往常一样趴在我办公室的门前,像是等着我回去或者开门出来,但是它的脑袋整个的耷拉下来了,从台阶上掉到了地上,地上有一摊的黄水,感觉应该是死了两天了。顿时,愤怒,伤感,喊怕等等都涌上心头。就像一个病重的人,不能托付给旁人照顾一样,也还是怪我自己不够上心啊。我不愿去碰黑黑的尸体,最后还是老爸给黑黑处理了。只是,今后,至少近来很长一段时间我是再没心情饲养小狗了,哪怕需要忍受一个人的无聊与寂寞。

在黑黑死之前,其实,我还领养了另一只小狗,为了给黑黑做伴的——广军叔撇掉得三只小狗中的一只,小黄。小黄胖乎乎的,和黑黑一般大。开始我老觉得它比黑黑更可爱,相处一段时间才发现它没黑黑好玩,还老和黑黑抢窝抢吃的,时不时还冲我吠,老感觉养不亲。不过黑黑还是挺护着它的,每当我想揍它的时候,黑黑都会呆呆的瞪着我,护着它。偶然机会拍到的它两依偎在办公室门口台阶上晒太阳的照片,觉得特温馨。后来,因为小黄身上长癣,在书记的一再坚持下,只好让徐姨去河北大沟的路上找个地方把它给撇了。

就这么短短的时间,我就养了3条小狗,主要是为了解初来的不适之感吧。但是这短短的时间,3条小狗也都不在我身边了,现在院里还是空空的。特别是黑黑,从刚来时巴掌大小到养到脚掌大小,就这样因为意外而逝去,各种不明的情绪萦绕在我的心头。乱七八糟的一堆,也算是对黑黑的纪念吧。

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